Space-Dye Vest [Reloaded]
it can be funny and at the same time fucking sad how life has ways to everyone, and in my case the way is clear: "Space-Dye Vest" stories... and for the ones who doesn't know what the fuck is "Space-Dye Vest" it's my obligation to introduce you to that masterpiece created back in 1993 by Mr. Kevin Moore, it certainly is very obscure and over all is very, deeply, sad song... here's a link where you can hear it: Dream Theater - Space-Dye Vest
Back to my life, i have once been touching by one similar situation that the song describes, my girlfriend was breaking up with me because, well, she wasn't feeling the same and she found another guy who really liked her... bullshit if u ask to me, but life's unfair and i tried everything to make her understand... anyway, i'm going outside the point of this post... she replaced me and bla bla bla... after that, i promised myself to never ever again use that song in such way and never experiment something like that again, man, that almost destroyed my heart completely... and i just did what the song says: "i'll never be open again"... and yeah, i found another girl a couple of months later with whom i started another relationship, and i told to myself: "man, this is so fucking fast, wtf will think this girl of me? what is she expecting? i mean, i can't be open again that fast..." and yes... the relationship started in a great way, we both seems interested on each other... but later on, i got kind of absent from her... i know that was wrong but i still got fucking absent... why i did that? i can say there's no simple reason for that... but there's a simple reason: F-E-A-R... this girl was amm, how can i say it? healing me in a such fast way... something that i thought will take at least 1 year she was doing it in less than a month... i was fascinated and scared at the same time... then i realized it was a good thing, the kind of feeling i was wanting to actually feel again... that little thing called LOVE... yeah... when i decided to take that distance i've put between us the fucking school got harder, tons of homeworks... presentations and last week exams, ones that i will finish until next thursday, and the only thing that i wanted to do the weekends was to hang out with my friends to relax, now i regret that because she couldn't take that pressure i put on her shoulders, i mean she moved out to a place and started living by herself and she was lonely at nights, i should have been there with her asking about her day, she was right in one thing, i told her that i'm not a talkative person, but i kinda am when u get to know me and the confidence grows, but in this case, with my girlfriend, confidence was there, but also the FEAR was still there, i regret a lot of things now... and i told her to "hang in there" but she didn't listen to me... i don't really know why the fuck she didn't... i'm so fucking sorry of what i've done to her... now i'm suffering again and i'm afraid that that suffering will show on my grades this partial exams... i'm bad i have to say, i can't sleep at night because of this break up, i can't stop listing the fucking mistakes i've done because of some ridiculous fear... "love is an act of blood and im bleeding a pool in the shape of a heart... this is not how i want it to end and i'll never be open again..." that just got more sense every time i think about it... but damn Jessica, this can't be over... i know you still feel something for me... i know that we still make this work out, now that the fear is gone i'll be able to open up again, i feel ready to do that again... i know what your ideas are now, i know what you call love and it's the same way i feel... we have differences, yeah, but who is not different? we need to convert those differences into good things, not things that tear us apart, come on baby, i want to think that u're suffering too, "there's nothing to keep me sane and it's all the same to you", because there's no way that one day you tell me "i love you, sugar" and next day the only thing you say is "i'm breaking up with you..." i know that post at The Mooreatorium Forum was going to have that fucking effect... i'm still not sure why the fuck i posted it... i think that i just wanted to call your attention, thing that is pretty stupid 'cause i already have it... so, i'm fucking sorry i post that thing... i never thought that u were going to get that mad to break up with me... i can say that u're the love of my life... and i don't wanna lose you... but everything seems dark now, hopeless is staring to invade my body slowly and it's in a very painfully presentation... not having you here with me makes me so sad, i miss our skype chats, i miss your phone calls, i miss seeing those beautiful eyes, i miss seeing you smile just by the fact of seeing me sitting there, i miss the plans we were doing, i miss DECEMBER... well, i really don't know what else to do, so please tell me what do i have to do to get a second chance? i will just die without you...
Back to my life, i have once been touching by one similar situation that the song describes, my girlfriend was breaking up with me because, well, she wasn't feeling the same and she found another guy who really liked her... bullshit if u ask to me, but life's unfair and i tried everything to make her understand... anyway, i'm going outside the point of this post... she replaced me and bla bla bla... after that, i promised myself to never ever again use that song in such way and never experiment something like that again, man, that almost destroyed my heart completely... and i just did what the song says: "i'll never be open again"... and yeah, i found another girl a couple of months later with whom i started another relationship, and i told to myself: "man, this is so fucking fast, wtf will think this girl of me? what is she expecting? i mean, i can't be open again that fast..." and yes... the relationship started in a great way, we both seems interested on each other... but later on, i got kind of absent from her... i know that was wrong but i still got fucking absent... why i did that? i can say there's no simple reason for that... but there's a simple reason: F-E-A-R... this girl was amm, how can i say it? healing me in a such fast way... something that i thought will take at least 1 year she was doing it in less than a month... i was fascinated and scared at the same time... then i realized it was a good thing, the kind of feeling i was wanting to actually feel again... that little thing called LOVE... yeah... when i decided to take that distance i've put between us the fucking school got harder, tons of homeworks... presentations and last week exams, ones that i will finish until next thursday, and the only thing that i wanted to do the weekends was to hang out with my friends to relax, now i regret that because she couldn't take that pressure i put on her shoulders, i mean she moved out to a place and started living by herself and she was lonely at nights, i should have been there with her asking about her day, she was right in one thing, i told her that i'm not a talkative person, but i kinda am when u get to know me and the confidence grows, but in this case, with my girlfriend, confidence was there, but also the FEAR was still there, i regret a lot of things now... and i told her to "hang in there" but she didn't listen to me... i don't really know why the fuck she didn't... i'm so fucking sorry of what i've done to her... now i'm suffering again and i'm afraid that that suffering will show on my grades this partial exams... i'm bad i have to say, i can't sleep at night because of this break up, i can't stop listing the fucking mistakes i've done because of some ridiculous fear... "love is an act of blood and im bleeding a pool in the shape of a heart... this is not how i want it to end and i'll never be open again..." that just got more sense every time i think about it... but damn Jessica, this can't be over... i know you still feel something for me... i know that we still make this work out, now that the fear is gone i'll be able to open up again, i feel ready to do that again... i know what your ideas are now, i know what you call love and it's the same way i feel... we have differences, yeah, but who is not different? we need to convert those differences into good things, not things that tear us apart, come on baby, i want to think that u're suffering too, "there's nothing to keep me sane and it's all the same to you", because there's no way that one day you tell me "i love you, sugar" and next day the only thing you say is "i'm breaking up with you..." i know that post at The Mooreatorium Forum was going to have that fucking effect... i'm still not sure why the fuck i posted it... i think that i just wanted to call your attention, thing that is pretty stupid 'cause i already have it... so, i'm fucking sorry i post that thing... i never thought that u were going to get that mad to break up with me... i can say that u're the love of my life... and i don't wanna lose you... but everything seems dark now, hopeless is staring to invade my body slowly and it's in a very painfully presentation... not having you here with me makes me so sad, i miss our skype chats, i miss your phone calls, i miss seeing those beautiful eyes, i miss seeing you smile just by the fact of seeing me sitting there, i miss the plans we were doing, i miss DECEMBER... well, i really don't know what else to do, so please tell me what do i have to do to get a second chance? i will just die without you...
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